Anatomy of a Hormonal Meltdown

Otherwise known as how I know I am hurtling off an emotional cliff . . . generally takes place over the course of a few days.

  • I find sexual innuendo or double entendre in almost anything (okay, I do this on a regular basis anyway)
  • I shop.  This includes purchasing flip flops in mid-February.  The purchase doesn’t need to make sense.  It’s cute.  I want it.  I buy it.
  • I buy magazines solely based on the hot guys gracing the cover.
  • I add my picture and blog on it.
  • I eat red meat (it doesn’t help)
  • I drink too much caffeine (it doesn’t help)
  • I say and/or do something borderline inappropriate (this rarely surprises anyone who knows me)
  • I buy a slice of cheese pizza, a fried avocado, cookies and Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream (even though I’m lactose intolerant)
  • I eat the pizza while shopping (it doesn’t help)
  • I start eating the ice cream while the cashier is ringing up my purchases (it doesn’t help, mainly because it's still frozen solid)
  • I eat the avocado at home.  It’s surprisingly tasty.  I wash it down with more ice cream.
  • I work out (this helps because at least I work off some of the pizza and ice cream)
  • I listen to a particular song guaranteed to make me emotional.  I cry.  I have moments of self-pity.  I suck it up and keep moving.  I remind myself that, this too shall pass.
  • I make chamomile tea.
  • I watch Sabrina.  It’s love, romance, Paris and Harrison Ford.  (this helps, I have no idea why)

As Audrey Hepburn says, “Paris is always a good idea”.  Then again, so is popping part of a sleeping pill, turning out the light and getting a good nights sleep.


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