Anatomy of a Hormonal Meltdown
Otherwise known as how I know I am hurtling off an emotional cliff . . . generally takes place over the course of a few days.
- I find sexual innuendo or double entendre in almost anything (okay, I do this on a regular basis anyway)
- I shop. This includes purchasing flip flops in mid-February. The purchase doesn’t need to make sense. It’s cute. I want it. I buy it.
- I buy magazines solely based on the hot guys gracing the cover.
- I add my picture and blog on it.
- I eat red meat (it doesn’t help)
- I drink too much caffeine (it doesn’t help)
- I say and/or do something borderline inappropriate (this rarely surprises anyone who knows me)
- I buy a slice of cheese pizza, a fried avocado, cookies and Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream (even though I’m lactose intolerant)
- I eat the pizza while shopping (it doesn’t help)
- I start eating the ice cream while the cashier is ringing up my purchases (it doesn’t help, mainly because it's still frozen solid)
- I eat the avocado at home. It’s surprisingly tasty. I wash it down with more ice cream.
- I work out (this helps because at least I work off some of the pizza and ice cream)
- I listen to a particular song guaranteed to make me emotional. I cry. I have moments of self-pity. I suck it up and keep moving. I remind myself that, this too shall pass.
- I make chamomile tea.
- I watch Sabrina. It’s love, romance, Paris and Harrison Ford. (this helps, I have no idea why)
As Audrey Hepburn says, “Paris is always a good idea”. Then again, so is popping part of a sleeping pill, turning out the light and getting a good nights sleep.