Several years ago I used to think nothing of having 15 or so people over and entertaining for the evening. I enjoyed it.
Over the past five years I had a girlfriend over once for lunch. That's it. Nothing in my life has been conducive to entertaining.
Not anymore. Over the past few months my son has enjoyed multiple play dates, sleepovers and all three of my best girlfriends have been over at least once. I'm slowly relearning how to welcome friends into my home.
Last night four of my girlfriends from work came over for apps and a movie. As I applied my eye make up and did a mental check on what I had left to do, I realized that I felt like I was having a first date (except that I haven't done that in 25 years and most probably would have dressed a little more glamorously as attire for my evening was yoga pants).
As everyone arrived and I set out snacks I realized that entertaining is really like riding a bike. I learned how to do it once and I hadn't forgotten. I just need a little practice.
I can totally have fun and be in the moment with my son. But going to a concert or out to dinner with a friend or entertaining a group of women sans kids, makes me realize that I'm out of practice having fun with other adults without kids around.
So, I'm learning to ride solo once in a while. It feels strange but I know it's healthy for me. It's all about balance and trusting that if you do fall, you can pick yourself back up and try again.
Strange - sums up my life perfectly right now. Fresh out of the desert, still dealing with wind burn, sand in my wedges, dehydration. Coming out of a desert doesn’t guarantee that you walk straight into paradise. And, really, would you be ready for it anyway. Nope. You’d want to get cleaned up, rest, have a good meal first. So, that’s what I’m doing.
I enjoy cooking. Last night I pan fried salmon and paired it with sautéed purple peppers (thank you Angela) and onion over rice with corn on the cob. Then, when I was done, I left all the dirty dishes in the sink. They are still there this morning. Why, you ask? Yes, I could have cleaned up the kitchen immediately after the meal. Something I haven’t been able to do freely for years. Because there is also a certain freedom in knowing you can, but choosing not to.
The desert is behind me, paradise is still an elusive future possibility that I'm quickly realizing will be different. but much more meaningful and real. However, my current existence is strange. A flat surface, stretching out before me. Strangely blank. It’s up to me to paint the palette of my landscape now. How do I define my future, my life - with security, stability, peace, health, love, laughter and joy for me and my family.
Funny – as always I appreciate it when it shows up. Pippin, the puppy was neutered a few weeks ago. I woke up to an incision that looked redder then it should. I called the vet who wanted to see the area. So, I took a picture of his privates and e-mailed the vet, right? Tami reminded me that usually women are the recipients of privates pictures. And not ones that include stitches.
During a recent trip to southern Utah I found myself having dinner at the Thunderbird Lodge, just outside of Zion National Park. Their claim to fame – “Ho-Made Pies” Harding working ho’s, making those pies. Makes your mouth water just thinking about it, doesn’t it?
Pippin at 4 months old - he's very helpful.